Boredom and Shyness.

My dad took this picture a few years ago, it is a lovely photo that I enjoy but it is also a good representation of how isolated shyness can make you feel.

Up until sometime in hight school I would say, “I’m SOOOO Bored” all the time. 

Considering my life was filled with going to movies, skating 3 nights a week, spending every day at the beach in the summer months, horse back riding, cleaning house from top to bottom before asking my parents for money to go to said movies or skating (we didn’t have an allowance or set chores, my sister and I developed this habit to make it harder for our parents to say no. After all, we did do all the work to earn it) and taking an hour walk every day. Not to mention flag team practice, games and dances, and the fact that I was a very intense book-worm.   Oh, I did crosswords and word puzzles every day and LOVED jigsaw puzzles.

When would I have time to be bored????

Oddly enough, despite all this activity, I was very shy.  So I bought a book on overcoming shyness.  There was a line in there, the only actually line I remember. 

Only boring people get bored.

But, wait, I get bored all the time!

From that moment on, anytime I started to think that phrase, “I’m bored” I would grab something.  I would grab a book, I would go to the kitchen and do dishes, I would go for a walk (that may actually be where I developed the habit of walking every night).  That habit died when I moved to Nebraska.  I would find something, anything, to do so I wouldn’t say or think those words.

I think the real meaning is that constantly complaining about boredom is boring to other people.  Instead, when you grab something else to do, you start developing more things to talk about aside from the boredom itself.

Because really, I had no cause to ever be bored with all I had going on.  Just listing it makes me wonder how I found the time for it all.

Only in these past couple of years have I started to feel that sense of boredom.  I need to do something about that.  I have tons of things to do, but I tend to let the computer eat up my time.  And half the time it isn’t that satisfying.  I love research but online research is not so fun to me.  I’ve tried using local library services, but this city doesn’t have a good library system.  I think I was spoiled by the Kootenai Shoshone Area Library system back home.  I worked here for a few years before moving and it was a fantastic county library system.  Nothing seems as good as them.  And I had access to the University of Idaho library.  This is a land-grant university, as such, it is a repository for government documents and important stuff like that. 

Maybe I’ll start forcing myself to do after dinner walks again.  I stopped because I hate the heat and humidity of a

Midwestern summer.  I miss the cooler, drier air of North Idaho.   But I need to end the boredom.  At least I don’t ever say those words.  So I don’t bore other people with it.

As for the shyness, I never really overcame it.  Every decade or so, I force myself out of it for a few years, and then things happen that remind me why I dislike humanity in general and I retreat again. 

Maybe I’m not really shy.  Maybe I really am just more misanthropic than I think.

5 Responses to “Boredom and Shyness.”

  1. I remember my cousin telling me, “boredom is a state of mind.” She was taking college courses at the time. My first thought was, how much did you pay to learn this? I didn’t say that though. I’m sure she would have had a witty response, and I’m not so witty unless it’s by accident.

  2. such an interesting read. and i even knew some of it already. 😉 lol. i think the library statement is interesting also. the best library i’ve ever used was at my university (rutgers). now when i’m researching an idea sometimes i want something better than the internet. yes, i just said i want something better than the internet! i want like a lexus nexus acct or something that gives me access to every newspaper article, ever. loool. anyway, get out there and walk. i’m going to try to stop thinking i’m a failure every five mins. we both do that and i think we’ll be on to something… lool. much love, sm

    • I want to write fiction and I keep getting non-fiction ideas. I have this list of things I’m in the process of researching. Pre-Depression Robber Barons of the U.S. and how the fact the modern economic system is build on their methods and therefore the dark side of how they got their money is also build into the modern system and it is designed to keep people down and funnel money to the top is one project and further research into the Crow Indians is another. I don’t know when I’ll get back to my research on Raeldwald of East Anglia.

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