Archive for Balance

What happened to my quiet time?

Posted in Life, Work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 8, 2014 by urbannight

clock

I can’t think in the mornings. To start out with, I am not a morning person. It is odd because since the time change Sunday, I’ve been waking up at 4:30, what would have been 5:30, which is earlier than I normally got up anyway.

The upside is that I can usually get to work early for some morning OT. The down side is that I start to drag long before lunch hour.

When we first moved to this new building, those of us who started at 7:30 had a very quiet office to work in. It was a peaceful start to get a jump on a productive day. Now it is a loud, noisy, bustling place at 7:30 am. It is annoying, distracting, and makes it impossible to get a good jumpstart on the day.

It doesn’t help that all the new people ever hired to replace anyone or to build up the numbers in the unit to deal with increasing business have all wanted to start at 7:30. So 8:00 people left and were replaced with 7:30 people. This doesn’t help the afternoon when we need coverage for the last half hour of the day. The newest hire wasn’t given a choice.

This is why I try to get to work extra early, so I can get my quiet time back. I need that peace to get my brain in gear before the distractions start, if I don’t then the distractions keep me from working as I want to. I find myself staring at the monitors trying to find that place of stillness and peace and balance from whence all effectiveness flows.

The unit next to us now is a recovery unit who are on the phones nearly as often as my unit. The problem is that most of them get to work even earlier than us. Some mornings they are working in silence and other mornings they are loud and boisterous. This means that even if I get to work early I can’t find my peaceful, quiet, time that gives me that edge the remainder of the day.

It doesn’t help that we are now using a TPA that is so bad that half of our complaint calls are all about them and 100% of the calls about the TPA are complaint calls. It is so stressful anymore that I dread opening a file and seeing the name that indicates the file went to the TPA. It’s enough that I’m contemplating job hunting and I really don’t want to do that. I’m finally making a decent wage and I don’t want to have to start over again at a starting wage.

If only I had my peace and quiet in the mornings once again and maybe I would have my equilibrium in place before the day started. But maybe even that would no longer help. I don’t rightly know anymore. I just have to take it one day at a time.

It Smelled Like Wet Dog

Posted in Life with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 18, 2012 by urbannight

Wet Dog

Not long ago, I wrote about the pain I’ve been suffering the past few years.  Last Friday my doctor upped the pain medication for the nerve pain in my left thigh.  It has been feeling MUCH better. 

As for my feet, she recommended going up to night splints and physical therapy.  While on my support group, I was recommended a website that lets you select what foot or leg condition you have and it will show you night splints, shoe inserts, and types of shoes designed just for those conditions. 

I was looking at the picture of an ankle from the back.  It was showing the bone structure in normal shoes and their shoes.  The ‘normal’ shoe had the ankle curved inwards.  It looked a bit like a curved spine.  Their shoe showed a normal, straight, ankle.  This made me think a bit.

I stood up and concentrated on how my ankle and feet are positioned when I stand normally.  I then shifted a bit of my weight to the outside edges of my feet.  I could feel my ankles pull slightly upward and straighten out.  I realized that I’ve been standing and walking with a bad foot and ankle position.  I walked through the apartment and could feel a noticeable improvement in my normal levels of good and heel pain. 

I’ve had weak ankles as long as I can remember.  I was always twisting and spraining them when I was growing up.  I’m wondering if I’ve always been trying to grip with the bottom of my feet for more stability.  Could that lead to an inflamed Plantar Facsiia? 

I’ve spent all week concentrating on my weight distribution on my feet when I walk, trying to make sure I keep the ankle in a straight position.  I do have a little bit of ankle fatigue.  I’m sure it’s because I have to strengthen those muscles to work properly when the ankle is the proper position. 

I’m still have a lot of foot and heal pain in the mornings.  But it’s the pain through the day that is improving.  It doesn’t hurt every single time I get up and down.  I’m feeling a lot better. It is improving my mood.

In fact, today was the first day I felt good enough to go for a REAL walk. 

Blowing in the Wind

A walk outside. 

On real, uneven ground. 

Where the sidewalks slant slightly. 

On a hill where there are no flat sections. 

There is only up and down. 

It was windy and blustery. 

Cool and cloudy.

Slightly Sprinkling.

It was the perfect walk weather.

There was only one problem

It smelled like wet dog.

I do feel a bit more pain in my feet and shins and butt and back.  But I’m really out of shape now.  I want to try to walk every day now.  I hope I don’t pay for it tomorrow.  I have a friend’s wedding and weekend trip for it coming up soon  I’m down 2 lbs from last week and would love to lose another 5 lbs in the next two weeks.  I think I can manage it if I can walk every day and watch what I eat.  It would also be a pleasant surprise for my doctor if I was down 5 lbs by my next appointment.