Archive for Boredom

Boredom and Shyness.

Posted in Life with tags , , , , , , on October 1, 2012 by urbannight

My dad took this picture a few years ago, it is a lovely photo that I enjoy but it is also a good representation of how isolated shyness can make you feel.

Up until sometime in hight school I would say, “I’m SOOOO Bored” all the time. 

Considering my life was filled with going to movies, skating 3 nights a week, spending every day at the beach in the summer months, horse back riding, cleaning house from top to bottom before asking my parents for money to go to said movies or skating (we didn’t have an allowance or set chores, my sister and I developed this habit to make it harder for our parents to say no. After all, we did do all the work to earn it) and taking an hour walk every day. Not to mention flag team practice, games and dances, and the fact that I was a very intense book-worm.   Oh, I did crosswords and word puzzles every day and LOVED jigsaw puzzles.

When would I have time to be bored????

Oddly enough, despite all this activity, I was very shy.  So I bought a book on overcoming shyness.  There was a line in there, the only actually line I remember. 

Only boring people get bored.

But, wait, I get bored all the time!

From that moment on, anytime I started to think that phrase, “I’m bored” I would grab something.  I would grab a book, I would go to the kitchen and do dishes, I would go for a walk (that may actually be where I developed the habit of walking every night).  That habit died when I moved to Nebraska.  I would find something, anything, to do so I wouldn’t say or think those words.

I think the real meaning is that constantly complaining about boredom is boring to other people.  Instead, when you grab something else to do, you start developing more things to talk about aside from the boredom itself.

Because really, I had no cause to ever be bored with all I had going on.  Just listing it makes me wonder how I found the time for it all.

Only in these past couple of years have I started to feel that sense of boredom.  I need to do something about that.  I have tons of things to do, but I tend to let the computer eat up my time.  And half the time it isn’t that satisfying.  I love research but online research is not so fun to me.  I’ve tried using local library services, but this city doesn’t have a good library system.  I think I was spoiled by the Kootenai Shoshone Area Library system back home.  I worked here for a few years before moving and it was a fantastic county library system.  Nothing seems as good as them.  And I had access to the University of Idaho library.  This is a land-grant university, as such, it is a repository for government documents and important stuff like that. 

Maybe I’ll start forcing myself to do after dinner walks again.  I stopped because I hate the heat and humidity of a

Midwestern summer.  I miss the cooler, drier air of North Idaho.   But I need to end the boredom.  At least I don’t ever say those words.  So I don’t bore other people with it.

As for the shyness, I never really overcame it.  Every decade or so, I force myself out of it for a few years, and then things happen that remind me why I dislike humanity in general and I retreat again. 

Maybe I’m not really shy.  Maybe I really am just more misanthropic than I think.

Random Things. That’s all I got Today.

Posted in Books, Entertainment with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 25, 2012 by urbannight

Because it is has nothing to do with anything….

Hunger Games, the book.  about 374 pages.  About 4 hours.  Maybe 4 hours and 15 minutes.  Easy.  Fast.  I remember how all these people said they spend one entire day reading it.  It just isn’t that long and complex.  The writing is very straight forward and simple.  Events are very fast paced.  You have no idea that in reality, it covers several weeks. 

Some channel was playing the Mummy movie remakes over the weekend.  I always felt sorry for the Mummy.  Okay, they did find a really good looking actor to play him, so that helped make him a bit sympathetic.   But it was really that all he did was done out of love.  It wasn’t even a selfish love.  Because he so totally loved her that he would do ANYTHING for her, even if it was of questionable ethics.  But she wasn’t worth it.  When push came to shove, she was more concerned about saving herself than helping the one that loved her so much that he gave everything of himself for her.  In the end, he realizes that his great love and great sacrifice was thrown back into his face and he let’s go of the person trying to save him and takes death in the realization of what he had done for someone who was so selfish.

My birthday was yesterday and I kinda wish that I had chosen to take my floating holiday today.  I don’t feel like much today.  It’s too pretty out.  It would have been a great day to go to the gardens and have a picnic someplace.  But I decided to save it and go to work instead.  I have a free birthday meal at Red Robin but I don’t feel like it yet.  I better before the end of the month.

I want noodles for dinner but I don’t want to go out of my way to the Vietnamese place.  I might go down to Pana88, a new pan-asian place close to work, and get their giant bowl of ramen noodles to take for dinner when I run off to my gaming group tonight.  Or maybe I’ll just stay there and eat.  That way I don’t have to try to kill as much time after work. 

My new meds are making me sleepy.  I’m trying to get used to them.  So I may be very sleepy at  the game tonight.  My warrior may be a little un-energetic.  I need energy.  The doctor told me to take them before bed.  But one is a twice daily, so I have to take it once in the morning as well. 

My supervisor got back from her week vacation.  She brought back a bag of my kryptonite for each of us.  Salt Water Taffy.  I live this stuff.  I have a fair amount of the black ones.  I love the black licorice taffy.  That and Banana are probably my favorite.  I got very little chocolate taffy.  I wanted more only for the purpose of trading it for more of the black licorice. 

I brought almonds for a tasty and healthy snack.  They are only healthy if I eat the right amount.  I have to make sure I stop.  I love nuts.  Except walnuts.  I hate walnuts.  The Squirrels can have them. Foamy can take over the world and keep the walnuts.  I like foamy.  Illwill press is great stuff.  Lovley cartoons, if you are slightly misanthropic.  I am, so I apreciate them. 

 I’m very upset with the judge in Utah that ordered a girl’s hair to be chopped off in the courtroom as an option to lowering her community service.  When I was 6, my mom had my aunt cut my hair short. It so traumatized me that I couldn’t get my hair cut short for years. Even with a trip, I would literally freak out at seeing the hair falling from my head. So maybe the child was traumatized. But small kids cut each other’s hair all the time. I don’t know a parent that hasn’t come into the room one day to find the kids with the scizzors either cutting their own hair or a siblings hair.

Sure is was wrong for a couple of young teens to cut a toddlers pony tail off. But NO judge should ever have the right to order a parent to chop of a kid’s hair in the court room. That goes way beyond reasonable autority for a judge. On top of it, he allowed the other older girl involved to be taken to a salon to have her hair professionally cut and returned to the courtroom to determine if it was acceptable to him or not. 

This gives us another case where cutting another persons hair with malicious intent is an assault. But punishing an assault with an assault is not justice. It’s revenge. And judges are suppose to be above revenge.

As for Tennessee’s ‘no holding hands’ law, they over look a common theme in areas with high pregnancy rates. Boredom. Many kids are complaining of boredom. They are becoming sexually active because it is something to do. Start creating more diverse activities and activity centers for teens, not kids, not adults, not ‘family friendly’ but specifically for teens and you would be amazed at the reduction in teen pregnancy. Or maybe not amazed because it won’t stop all of them, but it will give them something else to go than having sex because there is nothing else interesting to do.

The Vanishing Voice

Posted in Entertainment, Life, Uncategorized, Work, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 1, 2012 by urbannight

I intended to write more last year.  I made the same promise to myself this year.  I am not getting off to a good start.  On the other hand, I’ve been knitting a LOT more this year and I started playing a pen and paper roll-playing game and I started playing Star Wars The Old Republic.  I have more hobbies and interests than time for them all.  Too bad I couldn’t clone myself. 

But that is not the voice that is vanishing.  It is my literal voice.  The sound that emerges from my throat when I make shapes with my mouth and pass air over my vocal cords.  I blame it all on Yankee Candles.

I love candles.  I don’t have a problem with them.  So long as there are not too many concentrated in one location.  I can’t handle candle stores.  I didn’t even go into the candle store.  All I did was walk past it while looking for a gadget store that is no longer in the mall.  On one hand, it was a complete waste of time.  On the other hand, it killed my cords.

The intense mix of scents that permeated the passageway in front of the store triggered a coughing fit.  One that continued all evening and all night long.  I would feel perfectly fine until I started coughing.  Then it cased a weird, sharp pain in my throat.  Not a normal sore throat. 

When I got up this morning, I sounded raspy and weird.  As the morning has gone on, and I work at a job that requires me to take calls and talk to coworkers, my voice is getting odder and odder.  I feel perfectly fine until I try to talk. 

The only thing I can compare it to is the time I got laryngitis about 21 years ago.  I should probably stop talking to my coworkers and save my voice for the phone.  But it is a tediously dull day.  I thought it might be busy.  Another unit has all of it’s compilers out, so we are covering for them. 

I was hoping for a nice busy day.  Busy days fly by.  If I’m tired after a busy day I sleep well.  If I am tired as a result of boredome from a slow day, I end up wide awake in the late evening and unable to sleep at night.  The sad thing is that I never used to get bored.  We had a reorganization and restructuring of departments and job duties and now I have started suffering that stange contion. 

It isn’t that there is nothing to do.  It isn’t that kind of boredom.  It’s a mental condition.  If I have nothing to do with my hands, I can find things to do.  But unlike the past, finding things to do no longer properly engages my mind and I start to drift off into a general state of mental ‘blah’ that I define as boredom.

The end result is that I can’t chatter at people (not that I’m all that big on chattering) and I have less to do than planned so it is harder to distract myself from my painful, vanishing voice and make the day end sooner.